Dear Mr. New Husband,
First of all, congratulations on your wedding. You made a good choice. Solace is a great girl and I am sure that if you prove to be the right partner, she will make you very happy.
My dear Mr. New Husband, you asked me to give you some tit bits on how to make a success of your marriage. You said you wanted nothing less than a fantastic marriage. And you asked if I could give you any ideas for becoming the best husband alive.
Well, first of all, you cannot become the best husband alive. That is not possible. To pick the best husband alive, we will have to make the contestants marry the same girl at the same time and live under the same circumstances because only then can we judge which of them is the best. But as you can see, it is impossible to create that kind of condition for the competition for best husband. This is because every marriage is different and so a great husband in one marriage may be a lousy husband in another. What you should aim for is to become the best husband, your wife, Solace, could have. So, don’t compare yourself with any other husband because they are not married to Solace. Just know Solace and find the wisdom to fulfil her. And this is what I will like to help you with.
To become the best husband for Solace, discover her love language. The concept of love language was made popular by the writer, Dr. Gary Chapman. He said we all have our own love languages and if you don’t know anyone’s love language, it will be impossible to be the right partner for her.
Gary Chapman gave us five love languages. They are: one, words of affirmation; two, acts of service; three, quality time; four, physical touch and five, receiving gifts. Find out Solace’s love language and speak it often.
If Solace’s love language is words of affirmation, then say those words to her often. If her love language is acts of service, then make sure you don’t neglect doing little things for her on a regular basis. And if her love language is quality time, then learn to put off the phone, log off your laptop and put off the TV and just give her all your attention. This may involve take her out on a rendezvous every now and then. If Solace’s love language is physical touch, then don’t walk past her without touching her in a tender and loving manner. And of course if her love language is receiving gifts, then surprise her often with gifts. Just remember that the gifts don’t have to be expensive but learn to wrap those gifts or deliver them with a bit of drama or flair.
Remember that you are married to a woman. A woman is very different from a man and so make every effort to understand the creature called woman and especially the one you have married. As a man I know that we men tend to underestimate how complicated a woman’s life is. With an appreciation for how complicated a woman’s life is, you will never be able to bring the best out of her.
For instance, you don’t have to worry about what to do with your hair. For a man, the choice of what to do with your hair is very simple and easy. It is not so for the woman.
Take the matter of footwear. Women look very good in high heels and yet wearing it imposes constraints on the movement of a woman. With high heel, a woman has to take the terrain on which she is walking into consideration. And she has to be careful with her pace. If she does not, she could slip and fall or destroy the shoes.
For a man, none of these considerations arise. So, if you take Solace out for a treat, take those constraints Solace is grappling with into consideration and don’t ask her to match your pace of walking; instead, you match her pace because an attempt to match yours could be catastrophic.
But that is only a tiny bit of the complications of a woman’s life. This is just to give you the hint. Now take the hint and make the effort to fully understand the complications of your wife’s life as a woman, a wife and later, hopefully as a mother.
A great husband has to have emotional maturity. You cannot lose your temper at the least provocation and trust me, every wife knows how to provoke her husband to anger. You must learn to control your temper and to be careful what you say even under extreme circumstances. And please don’t try to exchange words with your wife, as in a quarrel. Men don’t know how to quarrel or fight with words, women do. By the time a girl becomes a woman, she has had a lot of practice at fighting with words. The average boy on the other hand would rather walk away or use his fists instead of using words. So, don’t try to fight with words with your wife; you will lose.
In particular, the words you say under provocation will be stored and archived and used against you for the rest of your life. So no matter how angry you are, please ensure that the words that come out of your mouth are soft and reconciliatory. Use harsh words and you give your wife ammunition she can use against you in subsequent fights.
And whilst I am on the matter of emotional maturity and controlling your temper, let me give you your first don’t as a husband. Don’t ever hit your wife. Never lift your hand to hit your wife. It diminishes you as a man and it introduces an element into your home that will scar your relationship for a long time.
When it comes to the tit bits that will make you a great husband for Solace, I am afraid that I have just scratched the surface. I will try to write you with more later. For now, I want to attend to your wife too. Yes, Solace also asked me for a few ideas on how she could be the best wife for you and I promised her that I will oblige her.
How about this: when both of you receive your letters, read it and then exchange it with each other. Read her letter and give her your letter to read as well. I think it will start a conversation that can only enrich your marriage.
For now, all that is left for me to say is that marriage is God’s idea and so it must be very good or we are not doing it right. May God give you the grace you need to make a success of your marriage.
Yours-wishing-you-success,
Ebo
Very good advice there, Uncle Ebo.
Thank you Joseyphina, keep reading!
Really inspiring, it brought tears, smiles and laughter after reading this letter. God bless you PAPA
Thank you Millicent, and be blessed too. Keep reading!
#Word!
Thank you, keep reading!
Insightful especially the complications of a woman’s life
Very insightful. Thanks Uncle and God bless
Thank you, keep reading
Thank you Uncle Ebo!
Thank you, keep reading
A good read.
I love the fact that you didn’t put all men in one straight jacket.
People differ, and so does attitude. Keep writing. Thanks.!
Thank you, keep reading
Hello sir greetings from your your hood south suntreso I’m very happy and excited reading this message thanks alot may the good Lord bless u much more
Thank you, keep reading
I always look forward to reading your articles. Thanks Uncle Ebo. God grant you strength to continue your good works.
Thank you, keep reading
Wooooow, very insightful. God bless you. Papa i wish i can have the wife’s letter to read. I believe it will help me as a wife. Thank you.
It will be posted soon. Thank you.
An insightful piece required for marriage nourishment.. God Bless you Uncle!
Thank you, keep reading
Wow, u get it better than we women ourselves. Thanks
Haha…Thank you, keep reading
Very Educative thnx uncle
Welcome
I just love this! Whaaat!
Thank you Emmy
Nice piece.Very insightful message.Tnx Uncle Ebo.
Thank you Jeanne
very revealing i must say
thanks uncle for this but don’t stop sharing food for thought with us after this month of love please. we need it everyday uncle
Hi Abubakar, we’ll try to update regularly
Very inspiring Uncle. Waiting to read the wife letter
Hi Tophic, it has been posted. Check and you will find it
Thanks uncle Ebo, I have learnt alot. God bless you for such a free advise.
Thank you Nana Efua
Great piece. I enjoyed the read
Thanks and that is nice. A very good advice to everyone. God bless you.
The letter brought tears, smiles and laughter after reading it. God bless you PAPA, you never cease to inspire me through ur works.
A great educative piece.
God bless you uncle Ebo
Very wonderful letter.. You are an inspiration.. God bless you
Thank you, Uncle Ebo.
Worth reading… Thank you very much
Very insightful uncle
Uncle Ebo I am a fan and i always listen to you on joyfm every Monday and Thursday morning after the joy news. I have had the opportunity to watch a few of your plays as I always insist on watching with my husband.
God bless you as you continue to do what you love it inspires me to do even greater and succeed in all aspects of my life especially my marriage.
my first time of reading such a piece. very educative and inspirational. God bless you so much…..
Wow Uncle, this piece is really on point. Thanks.
I love every bit of the article U. Ebony. God give you grace to write more of such articles.
We will keep reading
Thanking you Uncle Ebo. Quite an insightful one.
Excellent
I agree with men not hitting their wives no matter the situation. A friend divorce her husby because of this bitting . I just not healthy at all.
Thanks for the great piece.
Thanks Uncle! God bless you with more knowledge and strength! Long live Uncle Ebo! Much love
Reblogged this on Faithful Elikem Akpaloo's Personal Blog.
wwooww. nice one there. Iv really learnt a lot. hop u going to be telling us a lot. thnx sooo much uncle Ebo
Wow..I just this. Learnt a lot boss God bless you Papa
Wow..I just love this. Learnt a lot boss God bless you Papa
Thank you Uncle Ebo.
I’ve learnt a lot as a woman.
What a great piece! God bless you Uncle Ebo. 😊
Listened to both letters on joy fm…. I don’t mind reading them a 1000 times… Because the words are timeless… Thanks uncle Ebo
Reblogged this on The Okyere Asantes and commented:
In this letter to a new husband, Uncle Ebo Whyte touches on three key points that can make marriage work for a husband: (1) identifying your wife’s love language; (2) understanding how women are wired; and (3) maintaining emotional maturity.
I wish all men get this piece. Thanks so much Uncle Ebo
Uncle Ebo is really an inspirational figure. He always inspires me with his words of wisdom. Thank you Uncle.